Eyes open, Heart open
One of my main life goals, for as long as I can remember, has been to keep my eyes and my heart open.
What I mean by keeping your eyes open is being plugged into reality, being able to see truth and pain and complexity to situations, and to life. What I mean by keeping your heart open is maintaining joy, hope, and the ability to embrace life. It seems to me that, generally speaking, these two occur on opposite ends of the spectrum, with most people falling somewhere on one side or the other.
Think about it - we all know people who embody one or the other. We could easily rattle off a list of road-weary folks who have grown disillusioned, cynical, tired. And likewise, we could name a few happy-go-luckys who seems to skip through life without a care in the world...or awareness that there is true complexity and pain around them.
And its so natural that it be one or the other. You may start out with your heart open, but once you begin to open your eyes the door to your heart begins to sneak (or slam) shut. And the other side of the coin - once you begin to open your heart, its just so difficult to leave your eyes open as well.
Yet, it seems to me that each perspective has value, but not alone. If you are living with your heart or your eyes open, you won't be living fully, and you won't be living effectively. The cynic can see the problems and the pain, but cannot find the joy or hope or gumption to embrace life, to embrace those experiencing the pain, to add kindness and justice and life to the world if even for one person, if even for one moment. Conversely, the happy-go-lucky is full of life and energy and ability to reach out, but does not have the perspective to do so sensitively, to see the actual need and to be present within it.
So, after contemplating this years ago I set for myself the goal of maintaining both - living life with my eyes and my heart open. I believe that abundant life is there, I believe that effective life is there. Because it is full of pain and joy and responsibility. It takes a great deal of discipline for me to even shoot for something like this, and it is impossible to say I have ever achieved it; one moment you may experience balance and alignment, and the next moment fall again to one side or the other. When I begin to feel cynical, angry, discouraged (and I do!) I try dragging my heart open, and this takes time, sometimes years. I don't mean this in a fake, plastic-smile-painted on - that's not real. And "real" takes work, every day.
For example, the title of my blog - "everyday life as lyric poetry." Everyday life - that's reality, the hard, good/bad of life - that's eyes open; as lyric poetry - that's choosing to see beauty, choosing life and joy within the reality, keeping my heart open.
I've explained before that what I like in a book is a narrative which demonstrates both the joy and the pain in life, together, without implying that they are separate, that life is one or the other. And that's what I was trying to say here as well.
So there it is - my lifelong spiritual journey to keep my eyes and my heart open. Like Tevya, I feel like a fiddler on the roof.
9 comments:
I do avert my eyes sometimes, when I feel my heart starting to close.
But at least I try to remember that I'm doing it, to realize that my view has deliberately narrowed.
"...each perspective has value, but not alone." I love that. This whole post was beautiful.
Wow Catherine...that was so eloquently expressed, and the truth of it shone through.
I can't help wondering if you've read any Maeve Binchy? I've a sudden feeling you'd really enjoy her books.
Kimberly - no, I haven't actually. My list is getting longer and longer! Anything in particular you recommend??
Lovely. I feel that tension all the time.
I love this. This is gorgeous and so eloquently expresses how I feel, as well.
There was a church in my old town in MA. It had a sign, "Hand to man, heart to God."
I used to repeat that over and over like a prayer, like a mantra, every time I drove past. Loved it.
A lovely post, as always. Thanks for the reminder.
I found this post while browsing. Thank you for expressing the need for both. I hadn't thought about it in this way, but I agree whole-heartedly that both are important and difficult to reconcile. Oswald Chambers says frequently in MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST that Jesus Christ was able to perfectly do both--to love people without being cynical or suspicious.
Hi Catherine
It's a worthy goal and one that I think this blog helps you to pursue.
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